


Trip and Fall In

by natacup82



Category: Monsta X (Band)
Genre: Alternate Universe - Non-Famous, Introspection, M/M, Sharing a Bed, Virginity, Virginity is a Social Construct
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-11-30
Updated: 2019-11-30
Packaged: 2021-02-25 20:47:00
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 3,996
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/21611698
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/natacup82/pseuds/natacup82
Summary: Hoseok is just trying to get by without having to talk about sex or any crushes he may or may not still have. It's not going that well.
Relationships: Lee Hoseok | Wonho/Son Hyunwoo | Shownu
Comments: 6
Kudos: 85
Collections: Make Me Feel - A Multifandom Secret Virgin Fic Fest





	Trip and Fall In

**Author's Note:**

> I'm pretty sure when I started this fic it was gonna be: supportive BFF helps a friend lose virginity, they realize they'in love along the way. And then I started thinking about how actually virginity isn't real and the only reason we think it is is because the pressures of society and the people around us, even when they don't mean to do it.

Hoseok isn’t really sure how he ended up a virgin at 26. It’s not that he thinks there’s supposed to be a cut off age, he just feels like he’s the only person he knows without experience. He used to date and people think he’s attractive, even if they don’t end up liking him very much, but it’s just never happened for him.

And the longer it hasn't happened the more stressful it all seemed until he’s where he is now, 26 and avoiding dating and not quite lying about all of that to his friends. They know he’s had bad luck and they know he hasn’t dated anyone seriously in a long while but they just. Assume things. Because of the way he looks and the way people look at him and usually he’s fine with it, it’s _weird_ but he’s fine with it. 

Or he’s usually fine with it. But now they’re sitting around talking in the house they’ve rented for the week and things have taken a turn. 

“She was way too hot to be talking to you, I was shocked when you left with her!” Minhyuk says, laughing as he gestures at Changkyun. They had started out talking about a weird thing that happened to Kihyun and somehow that’s led to talking about the last time Minhyuk, Changkyun and Jooheon went out together. 

Changkyun throws a handful of chips at him, laughing and says, “Lots of people wanna get up on this hyung, just because you don’t have taste,” and then yelps when Jooheon throws a pillow at his head. 

“Sorry, sorry,” Changkyun says still laughing. “Sometimes he has good taste, but whatever I’m still great. A really hot girl picked me up in a club.”

Hyungwon snorts. “Was she looking for new babysitting clients?”

Changkyun glares as they all laugh, Hoseok laughing along even though he doesn’t think any of this is particularly funny and he doesn’t like where it’s all going. “No she was looking to hook up,” Changkyun says, crossing his arms over his chest. “Which we did before she sent me on my way.”

Kihyun frowns. “You hooked up with some random person in a gross club and that’s supposed to be a good thing? What am I missing? This is disgusting.”

“She was legitimately the most beautiful woman I’ve ever seen in real life,” Minhyuk says, jumping in to defend Changkyun. “You wouldn’t have turned her down either.” 

Kihyun wrinkles his nose. “Maybe,” he says with a frown. “I’m not super into random, public sex or hooking up with strangers.”

“Wait hyung, have you never had sex in public? Ever?” Changkyun asks, pulling his feet up under him on the sofa. 

“No,” Kihyun and Minhyuk say at the same time and then look at each other and frown. 

“I really hate that you know that about me,” Kihyun says, making a face at Minhyuk.

Minhyuk shrugs. “I really hate that you can’t seem to keep anything to yourself,” Minhyuk says then smiles, a smile that usually means trouble. “Anyone want explicit details on the shape of -” Minhyuk starts then yelps as Kihyun punches him in the arm. 

“If you finish that sentence you will die.”

Minhyuk glares at him for a few seconds then turns away. “Nevermind,” he says then he does what Hoseok has been dreading all night, he turns to Hoseok and asks, “what about you hyung? Have you ever had sex in public? Semi-public?”

“Oh I don’t really,” Hoseok starts, and he can feel his face, his neck getting warm. “I’m not-” he tries again only to get cut off by Hyunwoo. 

“You know he doesn’t like talking about these kinds of things, don’t do that,” Hyunwoo says, giving them all his most disappointed hyung face. 

Minhyuk makes a face but says, “Sorry hyung,” and they all move on and Hoseok takes a moment to collect himself before sending a brief, small smile Hyunwoo’s way. 

*

Later they all split up to their rooms for the night, after a long day of travel and hanging out without any responsibilities for the first time in ages. They’re all doubled up except for Hyungwon who won de-den-jji to get his own room and Hoseok is in with Shownu in one of the many rooms with one queen size bed.

They’ve shared before - when they were in college and back when they were dancing for idol companies and barely making enough to eat and pay rent - it’s just been a while. But Hoseok is still glad he got Hyunwoo in the roommate split. 

When they’re finally ready for bed and settled in and Hoseok has turned off all the lights, Hyunwoo says into the dark, “Are you still awake Hoseok-ah?”

Hoseok rolls over onto his back and looks over at Hyunwoo. “Yeah, I’m still awake, what’s up?”

“I just wanted to check in with you, after everything,” Hyunwoo says, half shrugging where he’s propped up on his side. 

Hoseok sighs. He’d hoped to get through the rest of the day without talking about this but there’s never any such luck. At least it’s with Hyunwoo, who he trusts above all of their friends to not make fun of him, at least not about this. “I’m fine, it’s just,” he sighs again. “I’m never sure what to say when people start talking about that kind of thing, you know?”

“I guess... I just know it makes you uncomfortable.”. 

“Okay,” Hoseok says, looking up at the ceiling. “Okay. If I told you something would you promise not to laugh?”

Hoseok glances over at him quickly, sees his frown and turns back to stare at the ceiling. When Hyunwoo speaks again it’s slow, each word measured like they’re carrying the weight of the world. 

“I would never laugh at you if it’s something serious, I’d never do anything to hurt you, you know that right?”

Hoseok sighs. “I know. It’s just. Okay,” he says exhaling loudly. “I don’t like talking about that stuff because I don’t have any experience? And it just makes me feel stupid to sit there not knowing anything.”

“What do you mean?”

Hoseok closes his eyes and says, “I’m a virgin, I’ve never done more than make out with anyone.”

“Oh,” Hyunwoo says and for a little while, he stays quiet and Hoseok wonders if he’s trying not to laugh at him, even if he doesn’t want to hurt his feelings. Lots of people haven’t meant to hurt his feelings but have done it anyway. “It’s okay if that’s something you don’t ever want to do, you know that right? It's not bad.”

Hoseok blinks back the tears that spring to his eyes. “I don’t want to _never_ it's just. The timing has been bad. No one has ever wanted to when I was ready to and back when I wasn’t ready they acted like I was weird for wanting to wait,” Hoseok says, trying and failing to keep his voice from breaking. 

“When I was younger it seemed like it was too big of a thing to do and now,” he sighs and pauses. “The last time I told someone I was a virgin he told me he wasn’t into teaching people and stopped talking to me so. You know.”

He feels Hyunwoo close the distance between them on the bed and before Hoseok can really wonder what he’s doing he’s pulled up against Hyunwoo’s broad chest, breathing against his neck. Hoseok didn’t think he needed a cuddle and he didn’t want to ask but he melts against Hyunwoo and holds on tight. 

“I’m sorry that happened to you Hoseok-ah,” Hyunwoo starts rubbing soothing circles along Hoseok’s back. “You didn’t deserve that and one day you’ll find someone who isn’t an asshole about all that.”

Hoseok mumbles against his neck and then lifts his head to say, “Maybe, I’m not really counting on it hyung.”

Hyunwoo frowns at him. “You should. Someone who actually cares about you won’t care if they have to show you things, they’d like it. It’s fun to figure that stuff out even if it is kind of awkward, okay?”

“Okay,” Hoseok says, even though he doesn’t really believe him. But he feels safe and comfortable in Hyunwoo’s arms so a little corner of his brain thinks _yeah, maybe_ before he falls asleep and doesn’t think anymore. 

*  
Hoseok wakes up the next morning a little disoriented. It’s only a few seconds before he remembers where he is, in a rental house on Jeju with his friends and sharing a bed with Hyunwoo.

That last bit is what makes him anxious as he remembers how he fell asleep and where he is now, still cuddled up close to Hyunwoo only somehow they’ve managed to get more entwined than they were when Hoseok fell asleep. They’re sharing a pillow and Hyunwoo’s hand is sitting high on Hoseok’s thigh which was probably the only thing that stopped Hoseok from being even closer to him in his sleep since his leg has made its way up across Hyunwoo’s hip.

It’s a lot; Hoseok can’t remember the last time he was this close to another person. It could be nice, he knows it probably would be nice if he wasn’t panicking. His dick is just way too interested in being this close to another person. Especially a person as hot and kind as Hyunwoo. Everything in his head is more of a jumble than it usually is and he’s working himself up to a panic when Hyunwoo yawns in Hoseok’s face - and it’s not fair, his breathe doesn’t even stink - hand going tight then slack on Hoseok’s thigh.

He blinks at Hoseok for a moment then smiles and says, “Morning,” voice still raspy with sleep.

“Good Morning,” Hoseok replies automatically smiling back; he’s never been able to not match a smile with a smile. “Did you sleep well?”

Hyunwoo smiles and says, “Yeah, comfy,” as he starts to rub his thumb back and forth on Hoseok’s thigh. It seems absent-minded, he looks about thirty seconds away from going back to sleep but now it’s like Hoseok’s whole world has narrowed down to the places where they touch, he feels on fire and he doesn’t know how Hyunwoo doesn’t notice. 

“We should probably start trying to get up before there’s a line for the showers,” Hyunwoo says and then he moves and Hoseok gasps. It’s the quickest bit of contact, of friction against his dick but it’s shocking and exciting and Hoseok’s body is moving to chase that feeling before his brain can come in with his common sense. 

He doesn’t even realize he’s reached out and grabbed Hyunwoo’s arm until he’s made contact and they’re both mumbling, “Sorry,” at each other. 

Hoseok looks up and Hyunwoo has gone red, eyes shut tight as he grits out another, “Sorry, I wasn’t paying attention or thinking or, I’m sorry.” He looks up and Hoseok doesn’t know how to wipe that look off his face but he tries. “It’s my fault,” he says, swallowing down the shame that’s just starting to pop up. “I think my body got too excited about cuddling,” he says, voice lilting up to try to make it a joke. 

He frowns and says, “No, no it’s mine,” before he shifts away and rolls out of bed. “I’m going to try to snag the first shower,” he pauses at the door and says, “are we okay?”

Hoseok nods, sitting up because he doesn’t want to think about the option that they wouldn’t be okay, that his stupid body has ruined things with one of the best people he knows and says, “yeah, yeah it’s fine.”

Hyunwoo nods, still frowning and heads out. Once the door is closed behind him Hoseok sighed and flopped back onto the bed. 

*  
They split into two groups as they head out onto the island, with Hoseok joining Hyunwoo, Kihyun and Changkyun as they head to the beach. They wander for a little while, goofing around and taking pictures and Hoseok is relieved that things aren’t awkward with Hyunwoo even if he feels overexposed in his own skin. 

It’s nearing midmorning when they decide to try jet surfing with a little company that’s set up on the beach. Hoseok hangs back and lets the others go first and is surprised when Changkyun joins him as he plops down in the sand to watch the demonstration. 

“Hey hyung,” Changkyun says, bumping Hoseok’s shoulder with his own. “How are you doing?”

Hoseok squints at him. “I’m fine, why?”

Changkyun shrugs. “I don’t know, I just felt weird about last night. And you know, everything.”

“Oh,” Hoseok says, looking down at his hands. “You know, I’m just not comfortable talking about all of that sexy stuff,” he says, hoping that that’ll be the end of it and he doesn’t have to think up a reason why. 

Changkyun nods and says, “Yeah, I know. I know we all get caught up and forget sometimes. Still, I’m sorry.”

“Nothing to be sorry about.”

Changkyun snorts. “No, it is and the worst thing is I didn’t even really tell the whole story last night? Like that girl was kind of using making out with me to get someone else to leave her alone. It was weird.”

“Really?” Hoseok asks, eyebrows creeping up. “Why didn’t you say that last night? Kihyun might not have judged you so much.”

He sighs. “Do you know how sometimes when you haven’t done something you’ll talk about it more so people don’t know you haven’t done it?”

“Um maybe?” Hoseok says, not really knowing at all. He’s better at avoiding things than pretending. 

“Right so I just talk about sex before anyone can ask me anything and then it’s not awkward.”

Hoseok frowns and says, “Why would it be awkward if you like talking about it?” and then he rewinds everything Changkyun has said back and looks over at him. “Are you, um, have you not. I mean. Are you, you know?”

Changkyun shrugs. “I haven’t had sex if that’s what you’re asking, but virginity isn’t even a real thing,” he says rolling his eyes. “It’s like people assign all this weird weight to it and it doesn’t even need to be that big of a deal, you know?”

“Yeah, I know,” Hoseok says swallowing and digging his toes into the sand. He’d never thought of it that way but he hadn’t really thought it was a big deal until other people made it a big deal. “Are you waiting for something or do you just not want to?”

“I want to,” Changkyun says with a snort. “I super want to, I’m horny all the time but I don’t know. I haven’t been into anyone enough to want to have to deal with their baggage about it.”

Hoseok frowns. “But you’re all,” he says waving a hand at Changkyun’s _everything_. “You’re not freaking out about it, what baggage?”

“I don’t like to get that far with people and not tell them, it feels weird and some people really can’t handle it.”

Hoseok sighs, because that’s half of why he’s single - he doesn’t want to deal with anybody getting weird at him anymore. The only person he’s told who didn’t get weird was Hyunwoo and they’ve only ever been friends. “Yeah,” he says sighing again and decides on a whim to be brave. “I’m also, I mean I’ve never and people always get weird about it.”

Changkyun gives him a look. “Is that why you got quiet last night?” he asks and then adds, not waiting for a response. “You know you could tell us right? None of our friends would judge you.”

“You haven’t told them,” Hoseok points out, directing a pointed look his way. 

Changkyun groans. “Because Minhyuk-hyung knows too much of my business already! I can’t tell everyone but him and if he knows he’ll start trying to set me up with Ki-, uh someone and then I’ll have to move back to America and die.”

Hoseok laughs, feeling somehow lighter than he’s felt since the night before. “It’s not that bad, he doesn’t meddle that much.”

“He rigged the room picking so you’d be in with Hyunwoo hyung because he knows you had a crush on him and you’re both single so he thought it was good timing.”

Hoseok frowns. “He wouldn’t...” he says, trailing off at the look on Changkyun’s face. “Oh my god.”

“Yeah.”

“That was two years ago!” Hoseok says, standing up. “Oh my god, I told him last night.”

Changkyun raises an eyebrow and says, “That you’re into him? Wow, damn hyung.”

“No!,” Hoseok says, trying to will his ears not to turn red. “About you know, the sex thing. I told him and he was really nice about it.”

“Oh,” Changkyun says, sounding disappointed. “Well that’s cool too. And now you have one less person to tell if you decide to tell everyone else.”

Hoseok hmms and then looks out to the water, where Kihyun has fallen off and Hyunwoo is still going strong. “You don’t think he knows, right? Minhyuk wouldn’t have told him, right?”

“I doubt it?” Changkyun starts then frowns. “Unless Hyunwoo hyung said something to you? Doesn’t Minhyuk hyung like to drop hints sometimes? He might have figured it out.”

“Shit.”

*  
They pack up from the beach when it starts to rain, just a little bit of a cold drizzle at first but by the time they’re nearing the house it’s pouring and they’re all sprinting for the door. 

Hoseok is soaked by the time he gets in the door and Hyunwoo, Kihyun and Changkyun aren’t much better but Minhyuk and Jooheon are waiting inside with towels so it’s not too bad, even if they laugh at them. 

“I texted you an hour ago and told you it was supposed to rain,” Minhyuk says, laughing as he tosses a towel at Changkyun’s head. 

Hyunwoo snorts, drying off his arms as he kicks his shoes off and steps further into the house. “We were in the water, none of us saw that text until it was way too late.”

“We didn’t even leave until it started raining,” Hoseok adds, grimacing at the way his shorts are sticking to his thighs. “I need to change, there’s no drying off like this.”

“All of you need to change,” Hyungwon says, peeking out from near the top of the stairs. “We ordered dinner and I’m not sitting on a wet chair after any of you jerks ruin it.”

At that they march off to their rooms, Kihyun and Changkyun turning toward the room just off the living room while Hoseok and Hyunwoo head upstairs.

Hoseok turns quickly to face the wall when Hyunwoo starts stripping out of his wet clothes in the middle of the room like it’s nothing. And it would have been _nothing_ or at least he would have aggressively made it be nothing if he didn’t have that stupid thought back into his head. He was fine not thinking about his old crush on Hyunwoo, he was practically over it, it was like an old friend that sometimes popped up when he least expected it but it was fine. 

Now, it’s just there, top of mind when he has to end his day sharing a bed with him. It sucks. He strips off his wet clothes quickly, thinking about and deciding against taking a quick, hot shower before slipping into his sweats and a t-shirt. 

He turns around to see Hyunwoo fumbling with his own shirt and quickly pulling it on and frowns. “Are you okay?” Hoseok asks, as Hyunwoo gets tangled in his shirt. 

“I’m fine, just a little stuck here.”

Hoseok laughs but steps forward and tugs on the shirt, pulling it down until Hyunwoo’s head emerges. He smooths down the bottom and pats Hyunwoo’s stomach and says, “All better,” before remembering where he is and who he’s doing this to and flushing and hastily stepping back. “Sorry.”

“I don’t mind, it was cute,” Hyunwoo says, smiling then looking down when Hoseok looks back up at him. 

Hoseok starts playing with the string of his sweats, suddenly nervous and not knowing why. “We should-” he starts before he’s cut off by Hyunwoo saying, “So listen.”

“You first,” Hyunwoo says, gesturing at Hoseok. 

Hoseok shakes his head and says, “No, you.”

“Ok,” he says sighing. “So I was talking to Kihyun earlier, when we were all at the beach. And he said Minhyuk had done something with the room picking and,” he starts as Hoseok’s eyes go wide. 

“I’m so sorry hyung! I didn’t know! I found out at the beach too,” Hoseok says, heart racing. “And he’s being silly, I had a crush on you two years ago, I’m over it, _mostly_ and you can’t just put people in a room and expect things!” 

He looks up and finds Hyunwoo staring at him. “Um,” Hyunwoo says, still gaping at Hoseok. “Kihyun just said Minhyuk messed with the room picking so he’d get Jooheon, not um. Not all that other stuff.”

“Oh,” Hoseok says, voice gone small and quiet. He looks down at his feet, scared to look up and see whatever horrible face he’s sure Hyunwoo is making now. “Right. Um. Is there any way we could just forget the rest of that and go down for dinner? Please?” 

“Are you over me, over me? Or um, is there still a chance that you’re under me?” Hyunwoo asks, then flushes. “I mean do you, could you still like me?”

Hoseok looks up quick, eyes wide with surprise. “What?”

“I just mean, you know if you’re still, I um. Like you, too, also,” Hyunwoo says, looking at Hoseok then away. “You know what, maybe we should go back downstairs.”

“You like me?” Hoseok asks, still confused but starting to get hopeful. “For real? Really?”

Hyunwoo smiles, running a hand along the back of his head. “Yeah, I have for um. For a while, I never thought you were interested so,” he says, shrugging. 

“Oh,” Hoseok says, quietly like being too loud would somehow spoil things. “I am, interested I mean. In you, um,” Hoseok says, babbling again. “Are you sure? You know, with everything,” he adds, waving at himself. 

“Yeah,” Hyunwoo says, smiling. “Like I said yesterday we could figure that stuff out, together. If you want.”

“I want,” Hoseok says, rocking back on his heels. He can’t keep the smile off his face as he thinks about how much this weekend has turned around. It’s like a weight he didn’t know he was carrying has been lifted. 

“Cool,” Hyunwoo says, smiling back. “Can I kiss you? Is that-” he says, cut off as Hoseok steps into his space and kisses him quick, before he loses his nerve. He steps back and Hyunwoo follows him, hands sliding down Hoseok’s back as he kisses him. 

Hoseok isn’t sure how long they stand there trading kisses, it could be minutes or hours but it feels like time stands still. He doesn’t know when his hands move from Hyunwoo’s arms to his shoulders until he’s got one hand buried in Hyunwoo’s hair and the other dropped back down to grip at his waist and he doesn’t really care, trying not to moan at the first brush of Hyunwoo’s tongue in his mouth. But it’s long enough that they both startle and jump apart when they hear a crash and a yell from downstairs. 

“Food’s here, hurry up or you don’t eat!” Minhyuk yells from somewhere downstairs as Hoseok and Hyunwoo stare at each other, breathing heavy, and then laugh. 

Hyunwoo tilts his head at the door. “We should probably head downstairs if we want to eat tonight,” he says, holding out his hand. 

Hoseok takes it, trying and failing not to smile too big. It’s only the beginning of whatever this is but this time at least he knows it’s something good. 

The End


End file.
